McLaren management agree to let Lewis speak what little is in his mind as long as he doesn't make a cock of himself.

Teams told to employ at least one Maldonado or Grosjean in 2013 to improve the show.

Angers the entire Formula 1 field but insists that, after 7 first lap accidents in 14 starts, he has learnt his lesson.

Management company admits lots of people are talking to peoples people but McLaren and Lewis are not on speaking terms.

The flying Finn is amongst the title favourites but is keener to take a shit than give one.

Wanted for questioning in connection with publishing sensitive information, crimes against common sense, making childish comments and having a lack of personality.

Construction begins on a giant wooden horse in preparation for a proposed Grand Prix blessed by the gods

Publicly rejects his favourite puppy should be taken out and shot while he secretly loads his shotgun behind the scenes.

Reports he could exchange his steering wheel for guns and hoes as he plans to become Britain's answer to Jay Z

Claims that proposing to host a race down narrow one-way streets in the West End does not make him deluded.