Missing baboon spotted in Valencia
June 2012
Keepers at a Venezuelan Zoo have released a statement warning people about an escaped Baboon who is on the rampage. They believe the large monkey may have falsified documents and got on a boat to Europe where it is now masquerading as a racing driver.
Expert Zoologists have linked the missing ape to Pastor Maldonado after he was seen eating a banana and scratching his armpits in the Williams motor home and has also been displaying ape-like behaviour on the track by using his car like a battering ram in order to try and assert his male dominance.
With a known history of driving into the side of people deliberately, it was no surprise when he collided with Lewis Hamilton after the young British driver refused to let the monkey climb over the top of his car. In retaliation, Maldonado pitched Hamilton into a tyre wall before climbing out of his own Williams, taking one of the tyres and making it into a swing.
Maldonado was adamant that the blame lay at Hamilton’s feet. When interviewed, he replied “Now I'm the king of the swingers oh, the jungle VIP, I've reached the top and had to stop and that's what botherin' me…”
Hamilton, however, was more diplomatic. When asked why he thought Maldonado took him out, he replied. “I have no idea. Maybe it’s because I’m bla…”
