Maldonado certified delusional

May 2012

Spanish Grand Prix winner Pastor Maldonado has been certified a loony after his victory prompted him to spout the most insane drivel ever to come out of a human mouth.

Maldonado shocked the world of Formula 1 by managing to not crash or mess up for the first time in his career. As well as inheriting pole position, he even managed not to have a mental breakdown while being chased down by Fernando Alonso. Evidently he now believes he is a driving god who is capable of winning the world championship. Despite the rest of the paddock believing his win was a fluke and Maldonado will join the exclusive club of drivers who have only won a single grand prix, Maldonado has other ideas.

Asked by reporters whether he expects this win to open the floodgates, the Venezuelan replied “Jes dees eez a good ween for me and dee team weel now win dee championship weeth me. I weel ween more races”.

No other members of the team were available to comment because they were either on fire or putting out flames from the members who were.