"I’m totally shocked. I mean I was just standing around with my mate Jack and then all of a sudden this crazy French bloke comes screeching up to me in this Lotus and barrels me over. I hurt my nads so I’m really not happy. Bloody Frenchies!"
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Romain Grosjean has made a public apology and says he will buy his victim a beer - one of several he was apparently carrying whilst driving his Lotus at the time.
It is yet to be determined whether or not Grosjean will face charges over dangerous driving as authorities say it is hard to distinguish between the Frenchman driving dangerously or normally.
He wasn't the only driver caught attempting to run people over. Fernando Alonso also attempted to kill his mechanics. Some thought he was just angry at being slower than a Peel P50 but it turns out it was time for his Siesta and he’d fallen asleep behind the wheel.