The announcement came after Kimi Antonelli completed one of the greatest drives in recent Formula 1 history, winning the Italian Grand Prix after starting 19th on the grid.
Ferrari, meanwhile, managed to finish sixth with Lewis Hamilton after Charles Leclerc crashed out on lap two, leaving thousands of passionate Italian fans wondering whether they had accidentally purchased tickets for a Mercedes event.
“We felt the pressure of winning at Monza,” explained Ferrari team principal Fred Vasseur. “So naturally, we decided the best solution was to remove one car from the race almost immediately and inconvenience the other one.”
Leclerc’s crash, which brought out the red flag, was particularly appreciated by Ferrari’s rivals, who had apparently been worried that the team might accidentally have a successful weekend.
Hamilton subsequently finished sixth, while Mercedes secured first and second with Antonelli and George Russell.
“It was a very complicated race,” said a Ferrari engineer, reportedly while staring into a wall. “We had a strategy, then another strategy, then a strategy for the strategy. Eventually we decided Lewis should just drive around and see what happens.”
Advertisement
The weekend had begun promisingly for Pierre Gasly, who secured a sensational maiden pole position for Alpine. Unfortunately, Formula 1 continues to insist that races are conducted after qualifying, and Gasly eventually finished seventh.
Antonelli’s victory was particularly significant, making him the first Italian to win at Monza since Ludovico Scarfiotti in 1966.
Italian fans celebrated wildly, although several were reportedly seen approaching Ferrari personnel afterwards to ask whether Mercedes was accepting new supporters.
Mercedes team principal Toto Wolff described Antonelli’s drive as extraordinary, while Ferrari confirmed that its post-race debrief would consist of everyone sitting silently in a room until somebody remembers where the nearest exit is.
Ferrari is now expected to spend the next week analysing exactly what went wrong, before arriving at the next race with a completely different collection of things going wrong.