Domenicali adopts Massa
July 2012
Ferrari team Principal Stefano Domenicali has legally adopted Felipe Massa and promised to look after him, love him and cherish him for the rest of the year. Massa, who has come under intense criticism for being crap, even sought therapy to overcome his lack of talent.
With some Italian newspapers suggesting he should be offered up as a human sacrifice to appease the mighty Emperor Montezemolo, the Ferrari team boss has come to the aid of the troubled Brazilian and has vowed to look after him and even provide him with his very own room with padded walls so he can bang his own head against it next time he thinks he needs therapy. He even offered to throw in a white coat with arms behind the back.
Massa has only managed to accumulate 23 points this year while his team mate Alonso has scored 154, taken 3 wins and currently leads the championship by 34 points. This has caused some observers to question whether Massa is actually any good. With his contract up for renewal at the end of this year, many were speculating he might be taken out into the pasture and shot in the head after the final race of the year. However, Stefano Domenicali has assured the world that is not the case and insists that Massa is still being walked 3 times a day, gets stroked behind the ears and has his tummy tickled on a regular basis.
