Bernie put into a home

January 2017

Liberty Media completed their takeover of Formula 1 and immediately set about making some drastic changes to the personnel running the sport. The first casualty was Bernie Ecclestone, whom the new bosses deemed too old and senile to make any sensible contribution to the running of the sport. They instead put him in an old people’s home. Chase Carey, the new boss of Formula 1, said it was for the best.

“Bernie has done a great job of running the sport and has only started alienating fans within the last twenty years or so. While his contribution is noted, we feel that the sport needs to start being entertaining again and Bernie is no longer on the same planet as normal people. We have therefore put him in a home where he can sit in a chair against a window and dribble.”

While Chase Carey will be in overall charge of Formula 1, he has appointed Ross Brawn as Director of How to Make Sensible Rule Changes; a role never before seen in the sport. Carey admitted that Bernie Ecclestone would be kept on as an adviser but only when they wanted the opinions and incoherent ramblings of a senile dwarf with no concept of reality.