F1 Bite

Hamilton criticised for premature ejaculation

Chinese grid girl left disappointed and unfulfilled after champion blew load in her face.

Rosberg blames Hamilton for his lack of talent

Britney Spears look-a-like believes the double world champion has no right to be better than he is.

Red Bull unhappy about not winning

Former dominant team not happy about another team dominating

Force India tell Marussia to piss off

Claims Formula 1 doesn't need slugs on wheels propping up the back of the grid

Vergne happy to play computer games

New official computer game player wants Ferrari to introduce a Grand Theft Auto version on their simulator

F1 doesn't need fans according to Bernie

F1 supremo tells fans to do one and hopes the poor teams don't make it on the grid for the 2015 season.

Lewis Hamilton pities the fool

Lewis Hamilton hopes dressing like Mr T and sucker-punching his rival will give him his second championship

Ich spreche kein Englisch

Vettel claims linguistic ignorance after disobeying team orders to over take his 'slow' team mate to win in Malaysia.

Fans urge drivers to stop being girls

Drivers told to man-up and stop being afriad of a little bit of water.

Battle rages for second Force India drive

Adrian Sutil favourite for the drive after he was seen buying a box of champagne glasses.